Remember last year when you were so attached to the idea of doing whatever you wanted? Do you remember how miserable that was? Spending hours upon hours worrying and agonizing and thinking that if you just thought of one more scenario to "ease" your mind it would justify your actions and allow you to go on with the rest of your day..except for the fact that you really couldn't go on the rest of the day because the idea of being selfish and stubborn was so consuming it took over? Do you remember trying to have conversations with people who really did mean well, but their advice was turned into..it's okay you can do whatever you want - you're just "figuring" things out. That was the way you spent year twenty-three, consumed in doing whatever you wanted. In all reality, you were desperately trying to get closer to the One who made you (you know, the One that knows every hair on your head)..but instead you just didn't really want to put in the work.
Well heart, you made it past twenty-three and it's safe to say you are putting in the work. And I've never been more proud. Dearest heart, you have sailed into twenty-four having learned that it is way easier to feel, think, and breath when you are beating side by side with the same Loving Heart that made you feel, think, and breath.
with love,
Your silly, (always-trying-to-get-ahead-of-herself) Daughter of the King heart
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There is one conversation that I will hold dear with a woman I was able to grow closer to at a camp back in August. And her kind words came truest from her beautiful heart - a heart I knew was walking and beating side by side with the one who made her. While swapping life stories, she encouraged me that all twenty-something year olds have a lot of "figuring" out to do. Even more so when you get done with college. Everything seems to get harder, futures start to get blurrier, but she reassured that it wasn't uncommon to feel out of sorts when you are twenty-something. And that's how my dear heart felt for a long time. My heart couldn't hold a genuine smile because deep down inside, it wasn't truly me. But now, I feel like my heart smiles so pure it bubbles over and out into every part of me.
January 16th was my twenty-fourth birthday and I was able to spend it with two of the truest friends a girl could ask for. These girls are beautiful inside and out and sometimes I think they know my silly heart better than I do. Amy and Sara inspire me to be a better person everyday whether they like to believe that or not. They exhibit more patience and elegance in situations that they go through that I could hardly dream of having. These girls have beautiful hearts and I am so proud to know them and call them my best friends! I am so happy I was able to spend an entire weekend with them in honor of my birthday. I grew just in that weekend of talking with them - even if we did just sit around in our pajamas and watch an entire season of Grey's Anatomy. I cherish these girls with all my heart.
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| Sara, Amy, & Me! |
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So dear heart,
I can't wait to see what unfolds in twenty-four. I can't wait to hear the next whisper, feel the next nudge, and see the next big thing from the One who made you. Now, you are beating the same beat and breathing the same breath as the greater Loving Heart..and it's a whole lot easier.
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