You Tell Me This Time...

Back up, just a moment.

I entered the blog world in 2005 the same fall I started a brand new journey at Rochester College - my home away from home. Rochester College is where I became a daughter of the King - my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ just before going on my very first mission trip to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina in 2006. I was always a good kid. I went to church every Sunday and Wednesday with my folks, surrounded myself with Christian friends, never even questioned getting into the party scene, the list goes on..But, I never really thought this whole "Christian Lifestyle" as my own. I definitely believed in God and knew there had to be something more to it than just the usual going to church thing.

Mission Trip to New Orleans - 2006 - taken right above where the levee broke

I definitely knew he was real because God and I would have one-way conversations as I would go to bed at night with things like, "I don't think I'm mature enough to make this type of commitment," or "How about when I'm 18..that seems like a reasonable mature age," or "I'll know when I'm ready." It wasn't until my 18th birthday came and went when I started to panic and tell God things like, "Okay, I'm 18 and I still don't feel mature enough for a life-long commitment, what about one more year?" Because like I said, "I'll know when I'm ready, God..jeez.." It was to the point where God was even sending me people at church, asking me why I hadn't taken the next step to real honest commitment. My stubborn, infuriated, Italian-self, would just get even stubborn, infuriated and well, italian lol. Constantly, I was the one trying to be in control of my life situation - as anyone can clearly see from the one-way conversation I had with God all throughout my (oh, so lovely) teenage years.

I wanted to take a step back into the reason I started this brand new blog. Like I said in my first post, I have been continually blessed by God. And in the past year I have learned so much about what God's Love truly is through family, wonderful friends, awesome mentors, and a loving church family. In the same year,  I also had to learn what God's Love just isn't - at all. In the five measly years that I have been a true Christ Follower, this is the year got really side-tracked. But, through it all, I searched. I discovered. I learned. And now I am inspired and now I am flying higher than before. Mainly, because this time around, after all the "Let me tell you, God" conversations - which I did all too often this year. I think I'm finally starting to get the hang of, "You tell me this time.."

Ultimately, it comes down to my pride. God's Love doesn't consist of being proud. I've read the Love Chapter tons of times. But, when you can actually feel and see these words played out in your own life. It's too great. It brings me to tears. All the wrongs that I did in the past year because of my own pride and selfishness is completely forgotten on His end - just in the moment I had a true heart to heart with Him. That is unfathomable. And that's why I feel so ultimately blessed. That is why I feel a peace that passes all understanding.

I'm hoping and praying that the purpose for this blog will not only be cathartic in nature to me - as writing always is - but, also a way in which I can express my inspirations through God's unfailing Love and dreams of flying higher through Him.

So, "You tell me this time..I'm listening.."